Why am I having such a hard time adjusting to being pregnant? It’s amazing, I was so so proud of myself and getting down to 128 pounds kickboxing 4 times a week and eating a high raw diet. I was in great shape. I’m sure that I can do it again, but I need to psych myself up more about the fact that there’s a lil Weintraub inside of me. Pablo and I have created a new life, our child. I guess I’m just feeling a little selfish still, having just recently reached a goal that I thought I never could. Don’t laugh, I really feel like I’m just fat. Maybe it’s related to my physique growing up and always feeling not so fit, but I am not quite fit now, nor not quite pregnant, so I just feel pudgy. Just for kicks, I googled “feeling fat while pregnant.” Most women said that pregnancy was a time of joy and excitement. Is it bad or can the baby tell that I feel this way? I feel horrible about it. Perhaps exercising more than I have been will help, but I get so bored of walking Chastain over and over again. There’s only two different ways around the park.
I figured my personal blog would be best suited to bitch and moan about pregnancy, or rather report on the joys. I had my 2nd OB/GYN appt today and weighed in at 145lbs. Ugh! It’s so mentally draining. I’m loading up on fruits and veggies tonight,
after I finish the brownies I made last night. Doc told me not to freak out about it, just maintain exercise.
I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced heartburn before, but after I eat it’s almost like there’s gas trying to come up through my throat and escape. Maybe that’s what they call “heartburn.” I think it may be from my pre-natal vitamins and may have to split them up throughout the day rather than taking all 3 at once.
Baby’s looking good, a 150 BPM heart rate this morning with an 18 inch waist he determined just by looking at me. I had them take blood to check my TSH levels since I’ve been taking 137mcg of Synthroid every day. I thought I was 16 weeks today, but Doc has me calculated that I’m 16 wks and 5 days today. Crazy! Therapy appointment this morning helped me work through my weight issue and challenges, so I have the tools to enjoy this journey more. I feel confident that once I feel the baby or maybe after the next ultrasound it will be more REAL. Today was fun to hear the heartbeat, but I’m not sure the reality has quite set in – and who knows, it may not set in until WIP comes out of it’s hiding place.
They say that the baby is about the size of a turnip, which is probably close in size to an onion. So our lil onion today, probably looks about this size. Hopefully, s/he will smell better.